But while we’re begging the women of Afghanistan
to not cover up their faces
you are begging your staff members to
just cover up that nipple,
to save the American people
from that monstrous metal mammary.
So not only were we “spared” the sight of flag-draped coffins returning from
That guy in the middle is safe, but these women could have been detained by the authorities for protesting topless. If you’re a woman and you go out in public with your nipples exposed, you can be arrested. A man can parade down the streets of
But what I want to know is, why does this guy get to walk around in public like this, whereas if I did it, I would be the one arrested for indecent exposure?
And don’t get me wrong. If it were suddenly legal for women to walk around with their tops off, I probably wouldn’t do it because I’m too shy. And I’d be willing to bet that lots of women out there feel the same way.
Still, I do think women should have the right to go topless if they want to. Wrapping your chest in constricting elastic, wire, and itchy lace should not be compulsory, in my opinion - especially on a hot day at the beach. That’s why I admire the gals who protested all over
Here’s why: When we make titties forbidden, the result is that they become disproportionately desirable. Women would actually have a hard time walking around topless in public even if it were legal, because it’s likely that they’d be harassed by people who aren’t used to being exposed to so many titties. A case of titty overload, if you will.
But it might be worthwhile in the long term. Hear me out. When the average woman isn’t allowed to show her titties, then the only titties that are available for people to view are the plastic, airbrushed fake titties like those you see in Playboy magazine. Porn titties. As a result, people are taught to believe that Hugh Hefner’s version of the perfect titty is the only version of the perfect titty.
In limiting our exposure to only one type of titty, we lose out on the opportunity to develop a preference for titties of any different type.
We overlook the fact that there are all kinds of different titties out there that we might like, and instead fetishize the one kind of titty we are constantly exposed to.
This is the result, and it’s not pretty.
Women from a younger and younger age pay plastic surgeons to alter their bodies in radical ways in order to fit an arbitrary (and constantly fluctuating) standard of beauty. These women - and their titties - are constantly featured in the media, and because theirs are the only titties the public sees regularly, the problem perpetuates itself as more and more young girls alter their perfectly fine titties into cartoonish titties like the ones sported by the celebs. The plastic surgeons laugh all the way to the bank, then drink themselves stupid once they get home in order to dull the screams of their conscience for sacrificing the health of their patients to vanity. That is, presuming they have a conscience.
However, when it comes to all things titties, the world must bow down in deference to the French. And in
So, my hat is off to the French. But not my top. Not yet, anyway.