Fall has always been my most favorite season.

I was one of those geeky kids who looked forward to fall because it meant the start of school, and even to this day, I go a little nuts when I see all of the school supplies stacked up in those gigantic office supply stores. I swear, I could ponder the advantages and disadvantages of Italian-versus-American-style paper clips all day long. Yes, there is a difference.

The baseball season culminates in the Fall with the World Series, which is always a hoot. In California this year, baseball's especially sweet because the Giants are in it to win it. One down, three to go. Come on, boys!

In California in the Fall, you also begin to get a break from the stifling heat. In Norther California, Fall weather is at its most beautiful, especially along the coast. The blue of the ocean seems somehow richer, and when the dew sparkles on the fallen redwood duff, it looks like someone has scattered glittering golden beads all across the forest floor.

Fall brings the mushrooms, too, and apples and cider. There's the harvest and all of the festivals that go along with it...

Then there's Halloween.

Wonderful, wonderful Halloween. The penultimate of Fall festivals. Cemeteries. Haunted houses. Carving pumpkins. Ghosties. Ghouliess. Goblins. Zombies. Eating candy until you're sick.

Yes, there's a lot to love about Halloween.

And the best part might be dressing up. Am I too old for that sort of thing? Yes. Definitely. Do I care? No. Absolutely not. And if you want to judge me for not acting my age, then you're nothing but a big fat poopy head.

Lucky for me, I live in a place that's filled with people who don't much like acting their age, so that works out well all around. Halloween planning has been in the works for weeks around here, and with only a few days to go, costume creativity has reached its pinnacle.

I had a really hard time deciding what to go as this year. My original idea was to go as Bigfoot's forest bride.

We make a super-cute couple, after all. But the party I'm going to is vampire-themed, so Mrs. Bigfoot will just have to wait until next year.

Somebody suggested that I go as a zombie stripper...

...which I thought was hilarious, but again, not vampire-themed. Plus, I've decided that anything stripper-oriented is off the table. It's a long story.

So then I thought maybe...

A chupacabra is a type of vampire, right? I mean, it sucks the blood of goats, not people, but I don't think you can hold that against it.

I tell you what I do hold against the chupacabra, though. Chupacabras come from Texas. As in, Texas Rangers. No thank you. Next idea.

I researched female vampires and came up with Countess Elizabeth Bathory.

I was thinking that this really might be the way to go. The blood countess here was one of the most famous serial killers of all time. She would lure young peasant girls to her castle with promises of employment, then she'd kill them and bathe in their blood to retain her youthful beauty. When the authorities found out, they were so terrified of her, they entombed her alive by walling her into the dungeon of her own castle. Nifty, right?

But how do you make a costume out of this? I thought about getting a nude body stocking and streaking it with red dye to evoke blood. Then I was going to get some fiber-fill and fluff it up to look like bubble-bath bubbles, and sew it onto the body stocking so as to cover all of the - ahem - more strategic places. Since the Blood Countess only bathed in virgin blood, I thought it would be funny to get some Jonas Brothers dolls and string them on a fish stringer around my waist since Bathory would obviously always want to have some virgins on hand.

Two problems with this idea, though.

One: I would never have the nerve to wear a body stocking in public.

Two: I hate the Jonas Brothers.

In the midst of mulling over my options, I woke up to find this note and drawing on my bathroom mirror:

The note says, "Why don't you just go to the party as yourself?" and is accompanied by a lovely rendering of me in all of my blue-haired, demonic glory.

And a good suggestion it is. As well as being very sweet and touching.

But it's Halloween, for crying out loud. Going as yourself is no fun, no matter how wicked you are on a normal, daily basis.

So what did I finally decide to do?

That's for me to know, and you to find out.

After Halloween, that is, when there will be many pictures and musings in the aftermath of this, my favorite holiday.

Until then, happy, happy Halloween, everyone!

And, of course...



  1. "They're zombies."

    "They're strippers."

    "They're zombie strippers."


    (I think you know which costume gets my vote!)

    Happy haunting


  2. As Mrs. Bigfoot, what would your kids look like? Darker hair maybe.

    Hope you enjoyed the Giants win as I did. I think the Giants' win guarantees the Democrats hold the Senate today.

  3. As Mrs. Bigfoot, my hope would be that our children would be blessed with their father's good looks. And of course, they would be Giants fans because, you know, Bigfoot. Bob, "zombie stripper" is definitely in the running for next year. Too delightful to pass up. I hope you both had more treats than tricks!

  4. Girl, I just love cheesy vampire and zombie movies. This one looks to be a howl. Ah ooh!!!